Adoption Myths:
8 Misunderstandings about Adoption

Planning your child's future is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. Whether you choose to parent or make an adoption plan, you will want to make an informed decision. The following are eight common myths about adoption that birthparents struggle with. Recognizing the myths and replacing them with correct information will help you to determine what is best for you and your child.

You may think that if you consider adoption for your child, you are a cold, uncaring, selfish person. Maybe you're afraid others will think you don't love your child. In fact, women who make adoption plans for their children are among the most courageous, for they put their child's needs first. Your pregnancy counselor can arrange for you to speak with birthparents who have already placed a child for adoption and struggled with this issue. You will see how much they love their child. Allowing your child to be born, rather than choosing abortion, is a loving choice. Choosing to place your child with a family that can provide a stable, loving home is an act of love and sacrifice, not an act of abandonment.

You may be thinking that you will never know anything about your child's future life if you choose adoption. But today, the sharing of information is very common. As the birthparent, you can help to develop an adoption plan that has the degree of openness you want. In addition many states including Georgia, participate in an Adoption Reunion Registry which allows both birthparents and adopted children to conduct a search or reunion once the adopted child turns the age of twenty-one.

Perhaps you're ruling out adoption because you think you would be irresponsible if you made that choice. You may feel that your consequence for being sexually active or becoming pregnant is to parent your child. Remember, just because you got pregnant does not mean that you are ready to be a parent. And even if you aren't able to be a parent at this time in your life, you are still a good person and may be a wonderful parent when you are older or in a different situation.

If you believe you must forget about your child when you choose adoption, your decision will be very hard to live with. If you make an adoption plan for your child, you will not forget and will not want to forget your child. You will want to live without being emotionally crippled by your loss. You will want to remember your pregnancy, your baby's birth, and those precious hours, or days shared with your child in the hospital. When you remember, you'll want to feel that you made the most loving, mature, and selfless decision possible, given your circumstances.

Perhaps you have heard that adopted children have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, personal relationships, and mental illness. Research does not support this misunderstanding.
Studies show that:
- Adopted and non-adopted children are similar in frequency of adjustment disorders, delinquency, and mental illness.
- Adopted teenagers are as emotionally stable as non-adopted teenagers.
- Adopted individuals do not have more family problems than non-adopted people.

Some birthmothers are afraid that if they choose adoption they will "go crazy" or never be happy again. When you recognize such fear is caused by a misunderstanding about adoption, you don't have to worry anymore. Your grief over losing your child can be painful, but the ability to grieve is a sign of mental health. Grief is not the same as mental instability.

Studies show that children benefit from having a positive, nurturing parents who can provide both positive male and female role models. Two-parent families where fathers take their responsibilities seriously and parents support each other can be vital to a healthy childhood and strong family. Relationships, self-esteem, and achievement all can be positively affected when a child is able to grow up in a two-parent, loving home.

Adoptive parents can love thier child as fully and selflessly as biological parents. Good parenting is a matter of unconditional love and acceptance, consistent nurturing and caring in a way that puts the needs of the child first. Adoptive parents love their children as much as if they had given birth to them.